barbecue factory, 1616 30th st # 200, bakersfield 93301

rating: 4.5/5; price: $$. today it was 115 degrees. i suggested to my spouse that we go get an early, preferably frozen dinner. we ended up at barbecue factory. we used to love the old highland cafe, in oildale; it has been moved here and opened under a different name to big success. the ac was pushing the cold stuff great and the young servers were very very friendly upon our arrival. it was too hot for many diners to be out, so we were shepherded to the bar, which i preferred to the main dining room: the bar was dimmer, cooler, cozier on this hot afternoon. spouse got a giant cheeseburger with bleu cheese on the side (both crumbles and dressing); it came with big steak fries sprinkled with season salt. i had a giant iced tea along with the kids' meal portion of pork ribs. the ribs were delicious even without bbq sauce, sweet and tender. the sauce sent it over the top flavor-wise - spicy, luscious, smoky... i dipped everything in the sauce, which no longer comes at the tables. however, the nice young waitress readily brought us extra bbq and bleu cheese.
we shared a dinner salad with more of the bleu cheese dressing (don't know if they make their own, but it sure is pungently tasty!), large, thinly sliced tomato, and lots of crunchy, buttery croutons. we were served fresh french bread with real butter upon arrival. i told this in reverse order, but i'm tired. barbecue factory was the place to be today, & we appreciated our very filling and scrumptious, hearty meal in its chilled and clean environment. barbecue factory hit the spot on a broiling bakersfield early evening.

mama roomba, 1814 eye st, bakersfield 93301, 661-322-MAMA

rating: 5/5; price: $$. i love mama roomba! this place has the most colorful decor of any local eatery. it is romantic fun to eat at mama roomba, and the cuisine is exotic and delicious. the waitstaff is beautiful, wearing rich-hued guayaberas and (the women, anyway) red painted lips. the little space, a former shoe repair shop at the western corner of wall street alley, has a cantina feel, festooned with magenta, turquoise, red, green, mexican tableclothes, pottery, and artwork. in the women's bathroom, a photo of carmen miranda beams festively. it misses only the retablos, candles, and other religious decorations of pan-hispanic caribbean places in big cities, such as chachacha in LA. mama roomba has pretty, inviting atmosphere! that goes a long way for me...
if i'm in a great-looking place, but the food's not so hot, i can live with it. but the food in lovely mama roomba's is swell! you order tapas - little plates of food, served family style. two people could share 2-3 tapas and be satisfied. the portions look small, but they satisfy due to rich flavor. you don't want to gobble this food! i love sauces, and each tapa comes with a different one. the empanadas (little pies) are filled with ground beef, cuminos, green olives, raisins and you dip them in a sweet-spicy sauce... yum!!! small corn-cakes are filled with a thick white cheese and are served with a relishy salsa. fried plaintains are drizzled with sour cream; the sweet potato fries (mouth-watering) come with a kind of honey-hot sauce ketchup. at various other times we've had beef on skewers, peruvian ceviche (a pico de gallo like relish served with shrimp and avocado), black beans, rice, pressed pork sandwich, delicious salad with cilantro, cuminos, fresh tomato, and chunks of olive-oiled cotija cheese... adjacent to the dining room is a cozy bar where mojitos (bracing, minty potions) and sangria (fruity wine) are served... if i were a drinker today, i'd be in that bar enjoying these exotic, intoxicating refreshments.
i think a lot of what makes mama's food so tasty is the way they use spices. their website (www.mamaroomba.com) says this: "Each dish is cooked with different spices grown on the Islands... cinnamon, nutmeg, mace, allspice, and cloves. Other distinctive flavorings include ginger, garlic, coconut, and rum. These flavorings make our dishes more flavorful, enjoyable and fun!" fun, i should say: make a reservation for mama roomba's to enjoy a cozy, happy, lively, mouth-watering, dazzling and satisfying meal. :)

sequoia sandwich shop, 1231 18th st, bakersfield, 93301, (661) 323-2500

rating: 3/5; price: $ 1/2. (well, doesn't THAT look confusing!!) the owners have hit the jackpot. this yuppie-ish sandwich spot is open til only 2 pm, closed weekends, & regularly has lines out the door at lunch hour (11-2 pm here)... it's an OK spot, maybe popular because sequoia can whip up big call-in orders for the downtown office crowd... the sandwiches are good but not too interesting, in my opinion, in the $6 range. the cheapest sandwiches are the vegetarian and the 3-cheese, both satisfying enough. the bread is fine; i don't know if they make their own, as does the too fat sandwich shop, which has two locations downtown (1825 F and 721 18th)... too fat's bread is dense, moist, chewy, a little sweet, very tasty. anyway, sequoia moves the orders out efficiently, with a hustle and bustle, so maybe it's this clean busy-ness that appeals to downtown workers, or maybe it's just convenient. the food is fine, the atmosphere is, like so many local spots, little to zilch, but you don't have to worry about getting rolled or jumped here -- very safe. (that can be a slight issue some places in town, but let's all be brave because after all, we don't live in baghdad.) the cheapest lunch is this: get a side salad (75 cents, in a tiny cup) with a warmed french roll with butter (50 cents) and a cup of water. it's really enough food, if you eat slowly. if you're reading this, it's likely you know where your next meal's coming from, anyway. sequoia has other locations at 9160 rosedale and 9500 ming.

root beer king, 11000 main st, lamont 93241; 24th st cafe, 1415 24th st, 93301, & clark's coffee shop, 8101 e. brundage ln, 93307 (both bakersfield)

ROOT BEER KING, Lamont: rating: 4/5; price: $. my young friend & i were done with an artsy stint out in lamont & were meandering home when we drove past a retro-silver bullet diner, shiny in the blazing summer sun, with a sign reading "root beer king." i did an immediate u-turn & we were both very pleased. this place is spotlessly clean, the young ladies at the counter were nice, the ac was blowing full blast, the nostalgic 50s decor was corny but happy, and the rootbeer freezes were cold, sweet, icy-thick, & delicious. if i were a kid living in lamont, i'd live in root beer king, bringing my friends, comic books, secret writings, or whatever else there to appreciate the cool air, the clean environment, and the wonderful malt shop food. burgers, fries, the like... and ROOT BEER!

24th STREET CAFE: rating: 4/5; price: $$. closes 2 pm; long lines on weekends; bring a gas mask if you're gonna wait outside because the traffic exhaust can be heady.
maybe most bakersfieldians have been here, maybe not; i live in the old town center, so i've been many times. it has the most big city menu of any non-chain breakfast place, with fancy & "daring" offerings at times (omelettes with wild game or wild veggies, or unusual spices, or scones & pancakes with fancy nuts, or cajun this or french that; the menu goes for more sophistication than, say, zingo's or clark's). my sponsor likes to go and have just one pumpkin pancake, for instance. the pancakes are delicious, more on the crispy side so that they don't soak up too much syrup & become gut-bombs. but one time i had a taco salad and was not pleased. the meat was heavy, greasy, crushing the lettuce, and the salsa was not at all spicy, little more than pureed tomatoes. gross.
when i've had regular breakfast combos, though, i've always been pleased by 24th st cafe. they also put homemade preserves on the table so you can eat all you want. the decor is diner nostalgic and the bathroom is full of neat antique-shop items; i always have to remind myself that i don't steal anymore when i go to the can & am tempted.
anyplace where the waitresses are friendly to my mom, my aunt, & my cousin, i'm happy. i like this very popular place & recommend it.

CLARK'S COFFEE SHOP: rating: 4/5, price: $. you can get a full-on meal, from drink and salad on through bread, soup, entree, side dishes, and dessert, for eight bucks!!! this is a fun place to go if you're in the east part of town, right off 58 at the brundage exit. it's a classic truck stop (we took two young west LA hipsters one time & they yucked about how "authentic" and "country" the place was), much smaller than zingo's but quite friendly. i always feel a little like i'm going on a road trip when i go eat at clark's. they have great pancakes, too (description above applies).

mexicali, 5601 california ave, bakersfield, ca 93309, 661- 327-5201

rating: 2.5/5; price: $$$. why? why do people go to mexicali??? ... our dear friends were visiting from the carlsbad area & we were all at a big meeting when other friends invited us all to hop on their lunch wagon to mexicali. as we drove over, my spouse & i said good, positive things, trying to be upbeat, but remembering mexicali as a uber-bourgeoise, overpriced place, heavy on the melted, greasy orange cheese. (well, i already broke the snob window with that last sentence!) i'm strictly hoi polloi, but i've enjoyed some hoity-toity places, & when i got to mexicali, i realized that mexicali aspires to be high class, not aimed at the sweating masses... our friend bill, a handsome guy who used to be on soaps, wore a tank top & had to borrow a white waiter shirt from the cloakroom before we could go in! ok, i admit, in a weird way, that was a little cool, being somewhat nostalgic, but the egalitarian me disliked the dress code thing, or maybe just the idea of being restricted, then giving the restricters money! i know, we could have walked out, but our friends wanted to eat there, & it was just weird, but i'll drop it... anyway, mexicali has nice atmosphere, & i like that they don't seem to have changed any of the decor in 35 years. it's a little cheesy in a herb alpert tijuana brass / "my family is spanish, not mexican" kind of way, but spotlessly clean (except for the dirty bathroom. ha! that was weird!)... then the menus came, and everything was way overpriced, and the chips came with a good salsa spiced with oregano, so that kinda balanced matters until the food came.
i'll just say it. yecccch. if you like lots and lots of greasy cheese, go to mexicali. my friend liked her chile colorado, but it looked like a bowl of ketchup. the tortillas were from the store. what restaurant makes them by hand here? still, you can get better, thicker ones at other places like 24th st cafe, for goodness' sake. also, when my spouse and our friend started telling nerdy, dirty jokes, i felt a little uncomfortable, like people were looking over their menus at "those people" with distaste. i'm sure it was in my head, but the feeling was real.
in short, not my kind of place, i guess. but if you like it, well, this has just been my opinion, & you know what they say about those. for my money, el taquito on north chester or taqueria los altos on south chester are much better. and i long for the day when we get a oaxacan restaurant here. with bako population predicted to hit 1 mil+ by 2025, it can't be long! one inevitable result of overpopulation will be diversity. therefore, it'll be hell, AND it'll be swell! buen provecha!

bread shoppe, 1230-A H (at 13th) st., bakersfield ca 93301

the bread shoppe is coming! the bread shoppe is coming! the quaint sign, with its old-fashioned spelling, caught my eye as i drove around one afternoon... it's in the same shopping center as the old la fonda (which burned down; there's a different mexican food place there now): one street north of california, on the east side of the street opposite BHS, with dewar's just around the corner. ahhh... plump, chewy, comforting bread... thank goodness the high protein craze is over, giving kidneys a rest and emotional eating its deserved spot again. bread represents home, safety, indulgence, basic sustenance, luxury... a carb-heavy hunk can even get a person loaded, if the metabolism's tweaked that way (obviously, mine is). go to bread shoppe first, follow up with dewar's, then make sure you've got a designated driver!
the bread shoppe will open this coming monday, JULY 17, said the nice young woman who opened the door. the window advertises "delectable cheesecakes," "sweet treats," "irresistable desserts"... and, i hope, lots of bread.
another bread shop to tide you over is the world famous pyrenees french bakery at 717 e 21st st, bakersfield, 93305, (661) 322-7159 where you can get loaves of sourdough and sweet dough bread, specialty breads topped with seeds and more, and even day old.

andria's seafood restaurant & market, ventura harbor village, ventura, ca

rating: 2/5; price: $$$$. don't go here!!!!! i mean, i guess it's ok, but i hate when people tell me how good a place is and then it's not just 1) expensive, but 2) not so special on the tastebuds, and 3) doesn't have nice employees. andria's was expensive (fish and chips starting at 10 bucks and fish/shellfish combos going up to 40 BUCKS and kids' meals [ONLY for kids] starting at $7)... i've been to plenty of expensive seafood places and personally i'm a great fan of fish (despite it being maybe the filthiest creature you can eat due to having the least-stringent fda and environmental restrictions), but don't tell me a place is "the best," then not have friendly employees, or a view. the view is part of the price, right? we sat outside at wooden tables with a view of some guy's boat and a sliver of harbor water. whoop-dee-doo. it made me wistfully remember being in maine 4-5 years back with family. uncle henry drove us to this really terrific lobster boil in a beautiful nature setting, at the same kind of wooden table as ventura, but in this instance we were helped by grinning friendly locals and picked out our lobsters (this kinda traumatized my little niece, so we had to make simpsons jokes, from the episode where homer ate his pet lobster pinchy). they cooked them up, and we absolutely gorged on fresh corn on the cob, boiled potatoes, fresh lobster with butter, steamed clams on the shell, cold sodas and cervezas. the lobsters were about six bucks each. for the whole crustacean. that is a lot of chow!!!... i don't know why i'm writing this except it sure made andria's look pale. don't go. if you're in ventura, get mexican food on the avenue, or fun retro food at the busy bee on main street.

manny's discount grocery outlet, 522 19th st, bakersfield ca 93305

rating: 4/5; price: $ !!!!!! ... i was crying in my coffee again about how much i missed the grocery outlet (canned food warehouse) on pierce road (b. owens blvd) when my friend asked, "haven't you been to manny's grocery outlet?" no, said i. she gave me directions. i had to call her again, en route, to find the place. it's on a corner on the north side of 19th st, between union and baker, by where the old RAD thrift store burned down (that was another big boo-hoo for me, until they reopened it on bernard). i walked in full of anticipation, the prospect of bargains making my skin sizzle (or maybe it was the heat). manny's is kind of shabby inside, dark, but like my friend'd said, it sells NAME BRAND FOOD and HOUSEHOLD ITEMS for pennies. quickly i was panting with happiness. don't worry; it's not a "scary" place (though i don't know your definition). i got protein and meal-replacement bars - promaxx, balance, slimfast, clif, etc. -- TWENTY FOR ONE DOLLAR!!!! i even ate one, and true, it wasn't the freshest thing i've ever consumed, but for a nickel???? it was swell!! they sold wheaties, three giant boxes for a buck. i got wheaties for every member of my family. when we opened them later, with slight trepidation, as you'd imagine, not ever having done the manny's thing, the cereal was perfectly fresh and wheaties good. this puts manny's ahead of the dollar store, in my experience! i've gotten a few food items there that were infested (rice, raisins in particular).
i got uncle ben's microwaveable brown rice for 99 cents; more expensive children's cereal, big boxes, stuff like lucky charms and capn crunch, for two bucks; nivea lotion for three; laura scudder's natural crunchy peanut butter for a buck,... i could go on and on with the deals i got: left with two giant boxes of good canned and boxed nourishments and medicines/health & beauty/household stuffs for about 30 bucks. no fresh food here, as you'd guess, but you can get those at the regular grocery store, and save some money getting the other stuff at manny's. you might've guessed, though, it's like other discount places (big lots, dollar stores) in that once an item's gone, it's gone, so hop on down to manny's for a treasure hunt today.
(btw, as most of you probably know, there's still a grocery outlet in town, at 6421 ming ave.)

other links to bakersfailed foodie reviews

some of these reviews sound like they were written by pete tittl, who has always puzzled me... an extremely bright, on-the-ball man whose reviews read like he uses a template and then fills in the blanks from place to place. i.e.
"my companion had the chicken salad while i had the cheeseburger deluxe."
"my companion had the chicken chow mein while i had the mixed vegetable dish."
"my companion had the veal parmesan while i had the spaghettini."
you get the picture. i always wonder if smart pete's pulling one over on the cal. if he uses his standard restaurant review template and therefore only needs 20 mins to write a column, he then has more time for exercise, travel, teaching, being with family, etc. in this way, the generic, phone-it-in "prose" is tweaking the nose of the big boss californian, which seemingly accepts any writing, just to fill its column inches (there are two exceptions, but they have been recognized by the local underground press). i respect that: stick it to "da man."
- tittl's blog (not current): http://bakersfield.typepad.com/dining_out/2005/03/index.html
- these people seem like "good christians" (which around here can seem like an oxymoron, with all the g*d* loud-mouthed prosyletizing that goes on!!) http://milosworld.net/restaurants.htm

all of these have only very short reviews, or only listings, but can provide ideas for culinary exploring...
http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g32037-Bakersfield_California.html
http://www.activediner.com/search/LocalSearch.cfm?STATE=CA&WRID=258&CITY=Bakersfield&CBID=
http://chefmoz.org/United_States/CA/Bakersfield/
http://www.discoverourtown.com/CA/Bakersfield/Dining-2068.html
http://www.restaurantdb.net/go/restaurants/CA-Bakersfield-0.html?cuisine=Bar
etc. etc. etc.

romano's macaroni grill, 8850 rosedale hwy, bakersfield, ca 93312, 661-588-2277

rating: 4.5/5; price: $$ 1/2-$$$. my sponsor took my out for my birthday and we wound up out on rosedale, with its many many corporate restaurants, at macaroni grill. sometimes i'm in the mood for these giant sort of generic theme places, and this was one of those times. these places usually are really clean, cool, with lots of friendly wait staff and large menus. you rarely get a hair in your plate at eateries like this, mimi's, outback, etc. etc. (not like the time late one night we all were blasted-drunk at the old baker's square and greg goodsell yelled, "i have a hair in my food!" and proceeded to pull what looked like an entire wig off his plate, dangling it high in the air... they comped us, but still, it was pretty nasty!)
one cheery gal asked, "aren't you a ____?" she was a friend from childhood. imagine that! we're still such a small town, and not just intellectually (bah-dump-dump -- ok, i'll try not to be snotty from here on...). we were seated at a generous-sized table covered with white butcher paper. the waitress came over and began reeling off specials, at the same time palming a table-top crayon and writing her name UPSIDE DOWN with it, with flourish, on the table top. it was a zorro-like thing, very smooth... they brought out a big hunk of bread seasoned with rosemary (i think) and we dipped it in olive oil and chatted... the menu was average sized, with entrees in the $7-$24 range, it looked like. big wine list.
they came to get our order. "do you have gnocchi?" asked i, surveying the menu. no, was the reply. "linguini clams?" i asked, and ended up with something similar, in a soup bowl, with red sauce. the clams were pretty soft and had what i'd call an appropriate odor level, which is good when you're this far from the ocean where the fish dishes can get pretty dicey... i had to ask for a spoon, which was a bit surprising since isn't that one pretty common way to eat pasta? anyway, my sponsor got a spaghetti plate with basil, rosemary, pine nuts, shrimp, and a cream sauce. they ground the cheese atop our plates and swooped away so that pat and i could discuss matters of the universe (and gossip). macaroni grill was large, clean, quiet on this early afternoon, not too brightly lit (i just hate that speed-freak lighting some places have), with hardy food (the portions were quite large). i didn't try the loo, but i'll bet it was clean, too. i'd go back.

don pepito's 1201-1/2 chester ave bksfld ca 93301 661-326-1250

rating: 4/5; price: $ (one pupusa, enough for a medium sized meal = $1.50 to $2.50). i met my high school friend (haven't seen her in years) and we drove to don pepito's: go to the palm's liquors sign at the corner of california and chester and there you'll find it. i had freshly made, cinnamon-sweet, icey horchata and we both ate pupusas, which are salvadoran stuffed tortillas, "the national snack of el salvador." these ones were round, heavy on the oil, fried, plump, lightly crispy. stuffed inside both were beans. i chose two pupusas, loroco and revuelta. loroco is a flower and this pie had a mild flavor. revuelta just means mixed; this one contained frijol, white cheese, and pulled pork. you cover pupusas with curtidos, which is a cross between sauerkraut and coleslaw, then blast on some mild salsa. in addition, my friend ordered a fish taco. i didn't try any, but it sure looked good, covered with greens, large chunks of avocado, a white dressing. best of all (in my opinion), the fish wasn't battered. overall, what a swell meal. we stuffed ourselves for under 10 bucks. the atmosphere, too, was pleasingly down-home: huge sticky-ish booths, bright, primitive murals of mountains and pastorale, world cup blasting on the spanish television. young servers, too, were plenty friendly and accomodating.

the filling station / barbecue

(reprinted by permission of the author from www.theblackboardfreepress.com)

The Filling Station at 24th and F sells only fair trade, organic tea and coffee. My friend scoffed when I told him they advertise carrying only the top 3% of the world’s beans – Starbuck’s, by comparison, uses the top 10%. Well, I say the difference is obvious once you taste Filling Station’s coffee, which evokes hackneyed, though true, descriptions: full-flavored, robust, rich, etc. I recommend the blended green tea or blended Carmelo, though I’d bet all drinks here are tasty. You can drive or walk up for now; a restaurant seating area’s in the works.

Though we miss the old Highland Café in Oildale, owner Steve Nation’s not singing the blues. He moved to the spot just west of the Garces Circle (attached to the Elk’s Club) and now is doing “quadruple the business,” he says. The ‘cue is expensive, as is all Bakersfield BBQ, but it’s the same menu you may’ve enjoyed when Nations was down on North Chester. Some might find this heretical, but I like that the sauce is on the table so you can pour it on, like chocolate syrup over a sundae. Speaking of Sundays, Nations hosts a great feed/dance (it’s billed as a “Jazz Brunch”) from 11-4 weekly. The time we went, the food and drink was plentiful and the band none other than local legends Mento Buru. (Chesterfield Kings and the Sultans of Swing play other weekends.) With the bar at one arm’s distance, the pancakes, egg dishes, bacon, sausage and ham at the other, and the terrific band up front, it ended up being big fun on a Sunday in B-Town.

big capsule list (if not up-to-date, please comment)

(reprinted by permission of the author from www.theblackboardfreepress.com)
Bonnie’s Best Cafe 200 21st St., 323-7224 $Am/Specializes in order-ahead, take-home casseroles; call ahead for meal of the day.
Dewar’s 1120 Eye St 322-0933 $A/A George’s Special, malted, black & white, or double scoop of peanut brittle with peppermint stick ice milk beats a standard dinner for the non-diabetic. Dine in vintage soda fountain style in front of lurid, Eisenhower-era stuffed, antlered beasts. New location in Boxland and don’t forget to take a number.
Don Pepito’s 1201 ½ Chester 326-1250 ¢H/If you’ve never had a Salvadorean pupusa, hop down to this humble, down-at-the-heels, but friendly place by the old Palm Liquors for the most delicious stuffed tacos you’ll have (frijol are best). Top with curditas (chopped cabbage, carrots, vinegar) & a splash of Tapatio & you’re all set.
The Garden Spot 3320 Truxtun Ave 323-3236 $$Am/Better & more delicious than its more generic competitor, Fresh Choice, Garden Spot features salad makings galore, the best muffins in town, tapioca pudding & tacky faux tropically painted walls. Just get water and forego the soup and a big, healthy meal here won’t hit your wallet unfairly.
Gumbeaux 1418 18th 325-5542 $$Am/Cajun-Creole cuisine in a hip, dark, fun setting. The food alone is worth returning for--atmosphere is the lagniappe. With other happy diners, enjoy the winking lights, postered walls, constant music--Texas or Chicago blues, New Orleans R&B, played live on weekends or piped in--over jambalaya and corn bread or catfish with dirty rice. Where decorating is concerned, we think Gumbeaux is smart to prefer Mardi Gras and music over televised sports and beer signs. Gumbeaux, more than merely going out to eat, gives one the feeling of having traveled someplace exciting.
Happy Jack’s Hamburger & Pie 1800 20th St 323-1661 $Am/Open til 9 pm. Sit at the tiny, friendly counter, dine on delicious, giant burgers with Bob’s Big Boy style dressing, admire the homemade lamps for sale & family soccer plaques & trophies, have a free slice of pie after 7 pm, waddle home happy.
Joseph’s Italian 3013 F St 322-7710 $-$$I/So dark, you can’t see your fork. Ultra romantic spot where you can have your gnocchi & your Louis Prima, too.
La Costa Mariscos 716 21st St 322-2655 $-$$$H/Tiny, professionally-run restaurant features cute vacation getaway tugboat interior & top-drawer surf-&-turf platter (mar y tierra), although be warned that prices have gone way up on fish dishes.
Los Tacos de Huicho 123 E. 18th 328-9490 ¢H/Clean restaurant with cheap, really tasty tacos (3 varieties) & the best free salsa selection in town. Mysterious, delicious pickled peppers & a guacamole-based chili are just a few of the choices.
Phine’s Cafe 415 Union Av, 637-0506 $-$$Am/Located near Union & 4th, this longtime fave of those in the know has the best food in town! Miz Phine fixes up neck bones, catfish, smoky ribs, & other unbelievably mouth-watering home-style cooking. You’ll dream about the delicious, slightly toasted cornbread pancakes and cinnamony, brown-sugared, buttered yams. The atmosphere is clean & homey, the staff friendly. The food comes slow, but every bite makes it worth the wait.
Quizno’s Chester at 19th $Am/It’s popular. It’s a little on the high side. We liked it. A gourmet variety of sandwiches come in 3 sizes, slathered with a tasty guacamole sauce. A busy sandwich shop that stays open Downtown after dark? They deserve everyone’s business.
Saigon 3113 Chester Ln 327-8810 $As/Fish in bowl! Unbelievably good spring rolls! Sparse, clean setting & nice waitresses! This little restaurant is definitely worth a visit, featuring clean, delicious Vietnamese dishes (skip dessert, though) in a friendly, humble setting.
Santa Fe Cafe 1510 F St, 325-2233 $Am/Quiet, friendly locale by train tracks & old Amtrak station, nostalgic choo-choo decor, nice breakfast plates.
Seabreeze Fish 2311 R St 323-7936 ¢-$$/ Very cool WWII era fish counter sells it fresh by the pound or grilled or fried. Art Deco interior has served as a movie set; Cajun spices & crab boil in a bag are sold, as well as sodas & side dishes. Many “get it to go.” Warning: prices for grilled plates have doubled! (S.W. location, too--same food w/o the atmosphere)
24th Street Café 1415 24th 323-8801 $$Am/Gourmet breakfast place closes by 2 pm daily. The long lines & exhaust fumes breathed while waiting outside are worth the wait. Inventive combinations make for memorable breakfasts.
Uricchio’s Trattoria 1400 17th St 326-8870 $$-$$$M/Smoothly run, popular restaurant run by beautiful & glamorous Italian family allows patrons to feel a little glamorous by extension with its cool atmosphere & air of noisy but high-class excitement.
Yamaki Restaurant 800 34th St., 336-0678 ¢-$As/Had a resentment cause you’ve had to drive to the Marketplace to have Japanese fast food? Come to Yamaki, located in a clean, gourmet-style gas station convenience store. At the little counter you can have eggrolls & chicken bowls or be adventurous & try salmon or unagi bowls--delicious!
Eastside/Northeast
Bakersfield Ranch Market 2309 Niles Pt 869-1076 ¢-$H/Energetic market full of the sweet, inviting aroma of fresh pan & sizzling carne & a busy food counter. Take a number, order anything, leave happy. Soft corn tortillas, hecho a mano, are available, best dripping with butter. Get it por aqui, eat at picnic benches inside or out, wash your meal down with fresh-made juice smoothies, or pa’ llevar & wander, marveling at giant, colorful displays of meats and produce.
Ching Yen 1207 Columbus 871-5292 $As/Dependable long-time B.C.-area spot. Delicious crackling rice soup, cozy, kitschy Asian décor, tinkly music, fortune cookies, almond cookies, AND orange slices when you’re done eating.
Cindy’s 3807 Auburn 871-8865/$Am/The best bacon & eggs in town.
Clark’s Coffee Shop 8101 E. Brundage Ln. 366-2277 $Am/Obscenely huge dinner special, complete with drink, salad, two sides, entrée, soup, & dessert, makes this Hwy. 58 truckstop worth the ride.
La Tapatia 617 Chico 324-0015 $H/ Shop St. Vincents, then walk down the alley to this place, where you can have wine margaritas & half-dishes for great prices. Oildale location.
Luigi’s 725 E. 19th 322-0926 $$M/Great hard French rolls, pasta, sandwiches, drinks. A place for the Garces yuppie crowd, & many other local regulars, to go slumming & fraternizing. Always packed at lunchtime.
The Malt Shop 5600 Auburn 872-1088 cAm/The owners are doggone friendly, the prices & drive-in fare terrific. The milk shakes are thick, cold, creamy, delicious, with big chunks of candy or fruit, depending on your wish. A place to sit, brush knees & sneak glances over the top of your soda straw. One request: change out that jukebox & get some ‘50s rock&roll/doo-wop/R&B in that thing!
Noriega Hotel 525 Sumner 322-8419 $$B/Pyrenee’s grungy cousin. Authentic old bar full of musty old men drinking wine from water glasses leads to long dining hall where you can eat Basque food elbow-to-elbow & polish it off with bleu cheese & red wine.
Peking Palace 5600 Auburn 872-9686 $-$$As/Big, dark, clean, air-conditioned Chinese restaurant well-loved by many Northeasters.
Pyrenee’s Café 601 Sumner 323-0053 $$B/Noriega’s upscale cousin. Nicely decorated, dark, romantic bar leads to warm dining hall where you can eat Basque food elbow-to-elbow & get bossed around by the servers.
Super Taco No 2 20 E. Truxtun Ave 322-0612 ¢H/ Good, affordable, gut-busting burritos, no “ambience.”
Taqueria Los Altos 205 Chester Av 327-7423 ¢H/Friendly Mexican restaurant, painted like a quincenera cake, is open til 2 am on weekends. Terrific tortas, chorizo & chile verde burritos, two kinds of salsa at the table, nice service (in English or Spanish), Sinaloense tunes bomping cheezily in the background, families breakfasting, dads with cervezas, kids with jamaicas.
Woolgrower’s 620 E. 19th 327-9584 $$B/Cheerfully loud, huge Basque place brings back regular Bakersfield crowds, especially big parties, with its ample, terrific menu & friendly, Old World, special occasion feel. This is one big place!
Oildale/Rosedale/Northwest
Cataldo’s 600 Roberts Ln., 387-0965 $Am/Three words: THIRTY INCH PIZZA! You just gotta try one once--at $29.95, that’s less than $1 per square inch. Wrestling the enormous, enormous box out of the restaurant is only part of the fun--this isa tasty, cheesy, garlicy pie that will feed everyone you know. One we purchased lasted two weeks--kind of like Homer & his big sandwich, you won’t bear to part with any of it.
CostCo Pizza Rosedale Hwy east of Hwy 99 ¢Am/Good cheap, thin pizza, churros, frozen yogurt sundaes, chicken bakes. Buy things you don’t need while waiting for the pizza, $10 for an immense one you & your friends won’t be able to finish (though you almost might while waiting in traffic to get home). Membership card needed.
El Taquito 912 N. Chester Av 393-8080 ¢H / Two people can eat big here for under $10. That’s right, the tiny shack on the Oildale corner is dirt cheap & the owners are nice, too. Avoid the chorizo (unless you like it wet) & go for the all-meat carne-asada burrito--with papas, with rice and beans, or all-meat--it’s all the same price here.
Knotty Pine Cafe 1530 Norris Rd., 399-0120 $Am/Cozy-cabin interior adds extra-friendly factor to breakfast at this Oildale spot, up the street from CHP. “Best biscuits and gravy in town,” says our friend Lisa P.
Milt’s Coffee Shop 6112 Knudsen 399-4975 $Am/Great biscuits & gravy at this like-clockwork coffee shop.
Zingo’s 3201 BO Blvd 321-0627 $Am/Zingo’s has gone uptown since Pierce Road became BO Blvd--the interior is now 50s-diner style. But at heart, Zingo’s is all-American late-night truck stop: nowhere else in town do the waitresses wear hair that tall & shorts that short. Zingo’s has some huge dinner specials, 2-5 pm for only $5; the place is always bustling. Zingo’s serves only whole milk, but fake eggs. Go figure. Visit the toilet, admire the 40s tilework, buy a prophylactic or squirt of perfume out of the machine. Don’t forget to say hi to Karen, too. She is one friendly lady.
Southside/Southwest
All India Sweets & Spices 1715 S Real Rd 832-3900 ¢As/ Dinner, a show, a cool cultural experience for $1.75: this tiny market shows Bollywood flicks on a mini TV & features a full menu in addition to groceries from the Asian sub-continent. Among the many Indian treats you can get for next-to-nothing, we’d recommend a samosa--a hot pocket filled with a spicy potato mixture: it’s a full meal for just 50 cents! Wash it down with sweet chala. Yum.
Bagels and Blenders $Am/Come in for a carbo-load before pedaling up to the other end of the bike path past Hart Park. The shakes, mostly high calorie fruity combos, come with free add-ins (bee pollen, fat burner, etc) & these bagels are great: chewy, yeasty, delicious, & an hour before closing, half price.
Baja Fresh Grill 9000 Ming Ave. $H/Delicious, healthy Mexican food that should have chains all around town so we won’t think there’s some kind of city conspiracy favoring the Great Moneyed Southwest.
Barbecue Express 1907 S Chester Ave 832-2407 ¢Am/If you ask for “hot,” be sure you’ve brought a fire extinguisher!
Chinatown Buffet $As/1021 Oak at California, 324-3189. Friendlier than your average steakhouse and more variety than three hours of the Food Network. Something for everyone--steamed, pan-fried, mai-fun noodles, sushi rolls, shellfish, pork barbecue, and don’t miss the subtle, sweet potato sesame dessert! $5.95 lunch, $8.95 dinner. Well worth it.
Great Castle Chinese 410 Union Ave 325-3311/Been-around-forever, this is the place that looks like a castle. Have some drinks, some egg foo yung, a good time on Union Avenue.
Hometown Buffet 4221 South H St. 397-9363 $$Am/ Not pretending to be healthy, the Buffet is the place to go to pork out. Almost as fun as old Wyatt’s Cafeteria, but without the macaroni & cheese. At least 15 kinds of desserts.
Ichiban Buffet House 2217 Ashe Rd $As/Yum yum yum! The best of East meets West! Enjoy Eastern-style food (Thai, Japanese, Chinese) while stuffing yourself, Western-style, like a hog! Including tax, lunch is $7.45; dinner runs $12.85. So come in & eat your weight in dainty, delicate, demure little dishes!
India Sweets & Spices 3500 Ming Av, 397-1135 ¢As/ Listen to Indian music, sniff the pungent spices & sip sweet, spicy, jack-you-up tea (under $1) as you shop. For a take-out meal, though, try the similarly-named All India Sweets, a stone’s throw away.
Izumo $-$$As/ During Happy Hour, 5:30-7 pm, a terrific deal in a pretty, kitschy setting: twinkling fake sakura trees & lanterns; bored-looking, mammoth fish, waitresses with jet-black bouffants who might slap you around, might not. The set-up here is free with sushi order: soybeans, salad, miso soup — so what could cost you big bucks elsewhere is $10-20 for 2 here, depending on what you order. Izumo also whips up tempura at giant, round tables with grill in the middle.
Mama Tosca 9000 Ming Ave 831-1242 $$$I/Expensive, delicious, elegant.
Mimi’s Café 4015 California Ave 326-1722 $$Am/Foo-fooey, wildly popular, Creole-themed family chain restaurant. The best deal, we think, is the oatmeal, & the breakfast menu has some mouth-watering offerings like cream cheese French toast. You can order a few Cajun plates & sometimes they pipe in nostalgic tunes from the 1940s. This will do until someone brings a Pappadeaux to town.
Outback Steak House 5051 Stockdale Hwy 834-7850 $$Am/Australian/ Another large happy hour joint, but featuring better food. The blooming onion is tasty, as are all shrimp & steak dishes tried so far, & the young help is cute.
Pizzaville USA 700 Oak, 323-8116 $Am/ Memorize the number & get pizzas to go in about 20 minutes, except on Friday nights when the place is packed. The pizzas are thin crust, six different kinds of cheese, delectable toppings--high quality, moderate price. A flash back to the way pizza parlors used to be.
Taj Mahal 5416 California Av 633-2222 $As/A friend who knows says the food here is mild compared to other Indian spots, but the spices are divine, the atmosphere beautiful, the employees elegant, & the lunch special unbelievably cheap for what you get. The Taj Mahal is appropriately named, fit for a king (or raja). Even if you’ve never tried Indian food before, visit this lovely restaurant.
Teriyaki Bowl/Asia Market 3699 Ming Av 832-6392 $As/While Teriyaki Bowl’s menu has gone downhill (substituting greasy Chinese for Japanese dishes), you can still get decent egg flower soup & sticky rice for cheap. (Avoid the miso.) Have great fun afterward by shopping the adjoining Asia Market, clean, with groceries & household items from many Far Eastern countries. Delicious char siu bao —fluffy, doughy, mouth-watering, with sweet BBQ pork filling — arrives weekly.
Wasabi Express 9000 Ming Av 654-0700 $As/Serves less pig-like portions than its more popular Marketplace competition, China Bistro, but enough to fill you up. Turn a little Japanese & have a bento or go cheap & try sticky rice, delicious miso & green or brown tea, strong & sugarless, in a cold tin can.

fast food

(reprinted from www.theblackboardfreepress.com by permission of the author)
Rating: 3/5;
Price: $.
Fast Food: It’s all garbage, but when you’ve only got $2 and a hunger in your belly, or a hankerin’ for some grease and a cheap toy to add to the Western World’s trash pile, which will best fit the bill? We study here the cute, corporately packaged, fat-laden, nutrient-deficient “meals” that we feed to our children... then wonder why they are overweight and do poorly in school: the kiddie meal! We recommend...
McDonald’s features the traditional Happy Meal that started it all: hamburger, cheeseburger, or McNuggets; small fry; tiny drink; toy. Go to the 24th Street location to chat with the drive-through guy about The Simpsons. He knows every episode! Tip: order the “All-American meal” for 20 cents cheaper. You get all the food, but no toy. Another cheap option that will stave off hunger for a short while: the whipped-cream-textured yogurt cone.
Wendy’s has the best deal, we think: you get the basic kid’s meal, plus a small chocolate ice cream shake for no extra charge. Wendy’s also features a whole $1 menu, from burgers to chili to baked potatoes (for spuds, go early, though; after dark, they seem to always be out).
Sonic’s food is generally best not scrutinized, but the Texas-based chain does offer more flavors of ice cream and shakes than any other. A banana freeze? A peanut butter malted? Yes, the texture indicates these drink confections have never known cream, but the sugar and artificial flavors fool the tastebuds enough to hit the spot.
Sonic’s kid’s meals are best eaten quickly, before the grease hardens; the burgers are like air, but we like the grilled cheese sandwich, salty, gooey, limp with buttery oil. You can settle in your car with a pile of napkins and your “meal,” listen to sometimes-good oldies piped through the Sonic speakers, and, if you park on the street end of Sonic’s lot, watch Christmas shoppers desperately cutting each other off in furious attempts to reach the mall and make that transformative purchase first. One last note: some youngsters and mostly oldsters with hotrods gather at Sonic’s on Fridays to park and check one another out in an aging Baby Boomers’ version of the cruising that used to happen on Chester. Roll up your windows and check out the cars .

singha thai, 5432 california ave, 661-631-2631

Rating: 5/5;
Price: $ 1/2.
(reprinted from the www.theblackboardfreepress.com by permission of the author)
SINGHA THAI and the art of PRAPAT SIRINAVARAT, 5432 California Ave., 661-631-2631. Thai Garden on Brundage is the place to go for elegant dining at Bakersfield prices. But Singha Thai is down-home, located in a Southwest strip mall storefront. Walk into this unassuming place and there’s the surprise—the walls are ornamented with trippy original artwork, surreal and luxurious canvases mixing Eastern mystique, Western pop culture and a dash of Dali. The food will bring you back, but so will this fascinating art, most of which is for sale. Ask for the artist — instead of the possibly-predicted wild-eyed eccentric brandishing paint brush, you’ll meet shy and soft-spoken Prapat Sirinavarat (pronounced “C-lee-NA-wa-laht”). Prapat, recently featured in a Ridgecrest art exhibit, graduated from art school while living in his native Thailand, but has had to put painting on hold. He is helping his family out by working at the restaurant. -joaquin juannabe